The short answer
Yes. Grandparents can and do get legal responsibility for their grandchildren, and the most common route is through a Special Guardianship Order. I've assessed dozens of grandparents for SGOs across England and Wales, and many of them are now raising their grandchildren under orders the court has made. It happens more often than most people realise. If you're a grandparent who's been thrown into this situation and you're feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know that you're not alone and that this process, while daunting, is one that many families have navigated successfully.
How it works legally
The term "custody" isn't actually used in English family law any more, but it's the word most people reach for when they mean parental responsibility. That's the legal concept at the heart of all of this. A Special Guardianship Order gives the grandparent parental responsibility for the child. That means you can make decisions about their education, their health, their day-to-day care, and their upbringing. The birth parents retain parental responsibility too, but as the special guardian you can exercise it without consulting them on most matters.
An SGO sits between a child arrangements order and adoption. It gives you real legal authority without severing the child's legal relationship with their birth parents. The child keeps their birth name. The birth parents still have a status in the child's life, and there is usually an expectation of some form of ongoing contact. But the day-to-day decisions, and the big decisions about schooling, medical treatment, and where the child lives, sit with you.
When grandparents step in
In my experience, grandparents come forward in two main situations. The first is during care proceedings, where the local authority has decided the children can't stay with their parents and the grandparent puts themselves forward as an alternative to foster care. This is often urgent and emotionally charged. You might have only recently found out the full picture of what's been happening in your grandchild's life, and suddenly you're being asked whether you can take them in. It's a lot to absorb in a short space of time.
The second situation is in private law, where the grandparent is already caring for the child informally and wants legal recognition of that arrangement. Perhaps the child has been living with you for months or even years, and you've reached a point where you need the legal authority to make decisions about their schooling or medical care. Both routes involve an assessment, but the context and the court process are different. Whatever your situation, the earlier you get legal advice the better.
The assessment
Before the court makes a Special Guardianship Order, it needs an independent assessment of the grandparent's suitability. That's usually where I come in. I'll visit your home, usually several times over a period of weeks. We'll talk about your life, your health, your relationship with your grandchild, and your understanding of what's happened in the child's family. I'll ask about your own experience of being parented, your support network, and how you'd manage contact with the child's parents going forward.
I'll also carry out enhanced DBS checks for all adults in the household, speak to your referees, and request a medical report from your GP with your consent. I'll check with the local authority too. None of this is designed to catch you out. It's about building a full, honest picture that the court can rely on when making its decision. I explain everything at the start of the process so you know what's coming and there are no surprises. If you'd like to read more about what an SGO assessment involves in detail, I've written a full guide to the SGO assessment process.
What the court looks for
The court wants to know that you can meet this child's needs, now and long-term. That means physical care, emotional warmth, safety, stability, and an understanding of the child's history and how it might affect them as they grow. The court applies the welfare checklist set out in the Children Act 1989, and the child's welfare is the paramount consideration in every decision.
Age and health come up often, and I want to be honest about that because I know it's something many grandparents worry about. Having a health condition does not rule you out. What the court needs is reassurance that the arrangement is sustainable. I've recommended SGOs for grandparents in their 60s and 70s where their health was well managed and their support network was strong. The question is never simply "how old are you?" It's "can you do this, and can you keep doing it for as long as this child needs you?" If you can answer that honestly and the evidence supports it, age alone will not stand in your way.
The emotional reality
This is something the legal guides don't talk about, but I think it matters more than people acknowledge. Taking on your grandchild usually means coming to terms with the fact that your own child has not been able to parent safely. That's painful. It brings up feelings that are complicated and sometimes contradictory. Many of the grandparents I assess are carrying grief, guilt, and anger alongside a fierce love for the grandchild they're trying to protect.
Some grandparents tell me they feel they failed as parents because their own child went on to struggle. Others feel torn between loyalty to their adult child and the need to keep their grandchild safe. These feelings are completely normal, and the assessment gives you space to talk about them. I'm not going to judge you for finding this difficult. Honestly, I'd be more concerned if you didn't find it difficult. It tells me you understand the weight of what you're taking on. The grandparents who do best in these situations are the ones who can be open about how hard it is while still being clear about why they're doing it.
Financial support
Special guardians may be entitled to a special guardianship allowance from the local authority, although the amount and availability varies between areas. If the SGO is made during care proceedings, your legal costs may be covered by Legal Aid. There may also be other forms of support available depending on your circumstances and the child's needs. I'd always recommend discussing finances with your solicitor early in the process, and raising it with the local authority too. Money worries shouldn't be the thing that stops you from coming forward for a child you love, and there is help available even if it's not always easy to find.
What to do if you're a grandparent in this situation
If care proceedings have already started and you want to put yourself forward as a carer for your grandchild, tell the social worker and get legal advice as early as possible. The court works to strict timescales, and the sooner you're part of the process the better the chance of a thorough assessment being completed in time. If you're already caring for a grandchild informally and you want legal security, speak to a family solicitor about applying for a Special Guardianship Order. Many solicitors offer a free initial consultation and can explain your options clearly.
Whatever your situation, please don't sit at home worrying in silence. The process can feel intimidating from the outside, but most grandparents I work with tell me afterwards that it was far less frightening than they'd expected. You know this child. You love this child. That matters, and it counts for a great deal.